Saturday, June 8, 2013

why i am not surprised we are a bed sharing family

we bed share
i said it
yes i know what some of you are thinking
"she will NEVER get out of your bed"
tell me what 13 year old still asks to sleep with their mom/dad
then there is the
"well it takes away from your marriage"
are you talking about sex?
(sorry dad if you are reading this)
my response is
"um you don't have to be in bed to have sex"
then i feel bad for you if that is the only place you do have sex
be creative people
again sorry dad

looking back i  said the infamous
"we will NEVER bed share"
i was that parent to be
i became a parent
we did what worked
what we feel comfortable with
i shouldn't be surprised
you see
(my husband and i)
don't like to sleep alone
we never have
before kids
when we worked opposite shifts
we let our dogs sleep with us
during deployments
i cuddled with four paws
instead of my hubby
we like to bed to be a place of comfort
it doesn't even make sense 
looking back
to ask our daughter
to sleep alone
we don't
and never have
i write this blog
only out of frustration 
over the past few weeks
possibly months
we have come under
i have come under 
some scrutiny 
for my parenting styles
i am fed up
for parents with grown children 
you had your chance to screw up your kid
let me screw up mine
i am usually open to advice
advice is different than criticism
i have tried advice from other parents
some has worked
and some hasn't
i have worked hard in the 16 months i've been called mom
i don't need criticism
no mom does
they need love
reassurance they are doing things right
being a parent is so hard
harder than i ever imagined
i joke that i am going to write a parenting book with 4 pages
first page
feed your baby
second page
clean your baby
third page
make sure baby sleeps
fourth page
(and most important)
love your baby

whether you co sleep
bed share
or your baby sleeps in a crib across the house

you are doing a good job
we are all in this together 
as parents
we are all sleepy
tired and exhausted at times
we are just trying to make it

you are doing the best you can
your baby loves you for it.

love love from aviano

Thursday, May 23, 2013

feet in italy, heart in oklahoma

 As a military spouse you know the feeling of homesick.  
It's a common feeling that you often recognize 
take a deep breath 
swallow the pain 
and continue with your day.
this a different feeling. 
This week
 my home state was devastate by a tornado. 
This  is a feeling of loss, 
and sadness.
 It's a pain that cannot be swallowed. 
In a few short days I will be coming home 
I fear seeing the devastation 
feeling the heartbreak of a state. 
  Places that once held memories are now simply a pile of rubble. 
Many of my friends lost their homes,
 lost years of memories, 
and hard work. 
I have friends that were at work and lost their vehicles.
 All these are material possessions 
even material possessions hold memories and heart felt value.  
My heart aches for the children in the elementary schools
the ones who lost their home. 
Their simple innocent minds 
are forced to understand this complex thing we call Mother Nature 
that even adults sometimes can't fathom.
I lift you up oklahoma in prayer and thought.  
My hands feel tied, my heart is breaking, and I want to be with you.   
I will pray for those who have lost whether it be life or material possessions.
 I will pray for the children
 that they find peace and consistency in the chaos. 
 For the parents 
who area forced to explain this devastation to the children, 
I pray you God gives you wisdom and words to heal your child's heart.
 For the rescue workers, the volunteers, the healthcare workers, 
I pray your hands work swiftly 
that you know the value of your deeds.  
Oklahoma I pray for you. 
This morning my husband summed it up perfectly, "Ok, tornado you messed with Oklahoma.  
But we've been here before. 
we've rebuilt. 
we are pretty resilient" 
my feet are in italy
but my heart is in

Sunday, May 12, 2013

a mother's day letter to my daughter

my sweet emerson,
it is my second mother's day as your mother
the first full year i have been your mother
to me
it's almost like my first mother's day
this year has flown by
not a day goes by that
 i don't wish i could pause time
live the day
over and over
mother's day is to celebrate mother's
my sweet daughter
it is because of you
i am the mother i am
every day
i try harder and harder
to be the mother you deserve
you have such a pure heart
loving all
laughing often
enjoying life
i try every day 
to have your heart
in the trying moments
when my nicely cleaned floor
quickly filled with toys
i remind myself
that this too shall pass
i will desire a floor filled with toys again
when you pull at my leg
saying so sweetly 
i burn the dinner 
because i am holding you
i do not mind
for one day 
i will cook a gourmet dinner
look down 
and you will not be there
my television shows 
have now given way
to sesame street
bubble guppies
my books
are gathering dust
i read 
"goodnight moon"
"barnyard dance"
your favorite
"polar bear polar bear what do you hear" 
i know that in time
i will read my books again
wish for a reason to dust off yours
one day 
my sweet daughter
not so far away
i will not hold you
i will not nurse you
i will not be your source of comfort
the one who you babble all your new exciting news to
while i will cherish
how my role 
as your mother 
has evolved
i wish to hit pause
to live in the moment
to say 
thank you 
for letting me be your mommy
you are the best mothers day gift
i could ever have 
i love you much

Thursday, April 11, 2013

thankful thursday: fast internet

yes i will repeat yesterday's post
last night 
it only took one hour to download an hd tv show
where as two days ago
hd wasn't even an option
it took 8-10 hours to download

so tonight 
after emmi goes to bed
hubby and i will enjoy
in hd!!!
for those who are subjected to regular afn programming you know hd is a BIG deal!

love love from avian

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

new internet: new blog (sorta)

welcome to italia
land of wine
and very very slow internet
i love to blog
it would take 
to upload 
a few
like 2-3 
we took the plunge and switched to a new service
my hope is to blog more
because i know you miss me
what have we been up to since december
in no particular order:
we've celebrated a birthday 
a few actually but one very important one
we've been to the park for the first time!
we've had a first christmas!
and we've been promoted
 well my better half was
it's been a wonderful few months!
yes the internet is much faster!
it took 7 minutes to upload these pics
so i leave you 
with one final picture  

love love from aviano