one week down.....

here we are at the end of week one

of 

treatment for miss emerson's 

hemangioma.

this is the hemangioma at the beginning of the treatment

honestly 

i was expecting much change

since

she was only on 1/2 strength dosage

but

we did see change!!!

last week's measurements

were

2x2.5cm

and 

.8cm deep

this week 

the hemangioma looks like this

changes we've noticed

1) it looks more defined

2) the scabbing is starting to come off

3)less spidering

and the measurements are...

(drum roll please!)

2x2.2 cm

(shrunk .3 cm)

and

.6 cm deep

(shorter by .2 cm)

YAY!!

now we are on a full dosage of propranolol

and 

will go back to the doctor next week

for

a weight check

and 

more measurements!

she just found out she weighs a whopping 12 lbs.

she's my wide eyed beauty!

hemangioma treatment week one!!

yesterday we started treatment on

miss emmi's hemangioma

treatment for now 

will consist of 

twice a day dose of 

{propranolol}

weekly weight checks 

and 

blood sugar checks

weight checks because

the dosage is based on weight

blood sugar checks

because

 a major side effect is low blood sugar

which is a big no no in an infant

when can we expect to see results???

between 3 weeks

and

14 months

wow 

that's a time frame

already though 

after 3 treatments

we've seen some minor changes

one being the color of the hemangioma

the second 

being less spidering around the hemangioma

so i figure we can track the changes together.

here we are at week one

 

it looks painful

but it isn't

 the medicine made specially for her

 

they say it's cherry flavor!! 

yum! 

and a quick review of the growth of her hemangioma

here she is at one month

 

it's still flat here and we were still under the impression 

it was from the tape used on the ng tube

and here is two months

 

what a change!!!

but that is very characteristic of an hemangioma

they just bloom over night practically

so weekly we will watch it shrink

and notice the changes together

but 

she is NOT in pain

and 

we are very optimistic that it will heal quickly 

and with minimal scarring!

looking forward to next week's pictures

measurements for this week are 2x2.5 cm and 1 cm deep!

any wages on next week's measurements??

 

but she's a preemie...

i've debated writing this post for some time

but

i've always said i'd be an open book

and 

an open book i will be

i'm going to try and streamline this post

but it's a very difficult

post 

and composed of many aspects

so bear with me if i take a left turn somewhere

i promise to try and make some sense

let me precede this post with this thought

i was never diagnosed with 
{post partum depression}

nor do i think i had it

and i don't want to make light of it

post partum depression is a very serious illness

and 

those who think they are suffering from it should seek medical attention

before i ever had emerson

a good friend warned me about 

"baby blues"

she explained they last about two weeks 

and

you cry for no reason at all

it's just hormones getting adjusted

this was the best pregnancy advice i received

i didn't realize it at the time 

but 

when the "baby blues" hit me

i was so thankful i knew what was going on with my self

emerson was 7 weeks early

some may say

"that's not that premature"

(in fact i have been told that)

but

to those i respond

"whether she was one week early or 10 weeks she spent time in the nicu which was the scariest part of her birth"

then the follow up appointments occur

and with each appointment

i am reminded by some medial professional

"well remember she is premature"

a part of me wants to yell 

"um yea i know i was there"

but i bite my tongue

and just nod

and because she was premature

you are informed of all the risks she is subjected to

like developmental delays

cognitive delays

etc

and at aviano

they send a physical therapist out

once a month

to make sure your premature baby

is 

developing normally

for me 

that means once a month

i am reminded that i failed to carry full term

there is certain guilt that comes with a premature baby

(at least i experienced a guilt)

my only job

was to carry this wonderful creature for 40 weeks

(or at least 36)

and i felt like a failure

and when you are reminded of it constantly

you can't help but feel the guilt over and over and over again

and i can't speak for parents of term babies

maybe they experience a guilt as well

when something goes wrong

or the doc observes something abnormal

but for me

even the simplest thing as a weight check

became a guilt fest 

even though she's gaining so well

so for those who are pregnant 

i warn you about baby blues

and 

if/when you find yourself crying 

because you still can't eat gelato

(yes i cried because gelato still made me sick)

or

your husband didn't put the trash bag in the trash can just the right way

know that this too shall pass

also

for those who have preemies 

or babies in the nicu 

hang in there

talk to someone about any guilt you have

try to find a support system with other parents in the nicu

we did

even though it was an italian hospital 

there were two other american families

so we had a nice support system

and

love on your baby!

me lovin' on my baby!!